Becoming Grandma

Most people spend their entire lives trying to differentiate themselves from their family. You are an individual. You are your own person. Sound familiar? I can't say I ever put much effort into being unlike my family. My mom likes margaritas and I like margaritas. My dad likes to write and I like to write. My sister likes to run and I like to run. But, I never thought I would share any similarities with my grandma.

Before my grandma fell and broke her hip, I spent a "normal" amount of time with her. She helped take care of me when I was little*. Before college I would occasionally clean around her house to earn spending money. When I moved away, I would call every few weeks and pay a visit when I had some spare time. Obviously, I wasn't spending enough time to notice the signs...the signs that indicate: I am grandma.

Here is the proof...

Chocolate - Chocolate tastes like dirt. I will only eat chocolate in extremely small quantities (chocolate chip cookies are pushing it) or if there is nothing else on the planet to eat and I have to survive to save the human species. This may seem insignificant to you, but try telling your friends that you don't want a piece of their triple fudge cake and take a good look at their appalled faces. There are not many people on Earth that hate chocolate as much as I do. In fact, I have only met one other person that shares this hatred...she is my grandma.

"The News" - I am obsessed with the news. I can't remember ever missing an edition of The TODAY Show (morning or weekend), I read the newspaper every day and when I'm bored, I log onto news websites and consume more news. My first real job was on the assignment desk for a local NBC affiliate and now I'm a publicist. You can't get anymore news obsessed than that, kids. You know who else loves the news? I'll give you one guess. Grandma watches the morning news, fills the afternoon with cable news (CNN, MSNBC, FOX), enjoys every edition of the evening news beginning at 4 p.m. and her favorite show at the end of the week? 60 Minutes.

Food - Our philosophy on food is similar to our philosophy on hobbies. Foie gras? No. Bacon? Yes. We also eat like we will never see food again. You know why? Because you might not see food again and food is great. And no, we are not obese.

Hobbies - Lately I have noticed a lot of my friends posting about their hobbies on Facebook. When you people aren't busy healing the blind, competing in triathlons and scrapbooking the entire experience, grandma and I are watching TV. Look, we're all for making a positive impact on the world, living your life, blah blah blah...but we're content with the simple things (TV, books, staring at the wall) and are really tired of your motivational quotes. As grandma tells her physical therapist, "I just want to sit here and watch TV. Is that too much to ask?"

Finally, the most important quality my grandma and I share is a mutual appreciation for the art of listening. Listening is a skill that has proved quite valuable to me and is a trait I rarely see in others. Grandma is the only other person I know who knows what it means to really listen. A few years ago, we were sitting around the house talking about nothing in particular. Grandma was sitting quietly in a chair, seeming to pay attention to nothing but the wall. I forgot why it was said, but someone said "Oh don't worry, she's not listening." What I won't forget was grandma turning to me and whispering, "You know I hear everything."

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me "_______ could only happen to you, Meg," I would definitely not be looking for a new job. The fact of the matter is, everything that happens to me is happening to you, but I hear everything. Grandma made me a good listener, which helped me become a good storyteller. So if you find yourself reading this and wondering what you might have in common with your family or wish your grandma was as funny to read about as my grandma is...then do as we like to say and "shut up!"

*I always knew how helpful it was to my mom to have my grandma help take care of my sister and I. However, I must have blanked on her care tactics. I learned today that my grandma would dump ice water on us to keep us from napping; thereby ensuring we would go to sleep early. Now you know why I don't like to stay up late.