Catheter Crisis 2010: The End

Hospital 1; My Mom 0

Although we still have the catheter, it seems the crisis has ended. The first nurse we had explain the catheter situation basically told us she was too lazy to take my grandma to the bathroom. Remember her words? "It was a matter of convenience." My mom marched in like an invading army yesterday, determined to remove the "convenient catheter" if it was still there. It was and she was enraged. Luckily, we got a nurse who seems to care about the words that come out of her mouth in front of patients and family members. This nurse explained that because of a certain medication, it's hospital protocol for grandma to have the catheter. Now was that so hard to explain? All it took was someone with some tact to end Catheter Crisis 2010.

Now for some fun! Helpful, RN explained to us that days three to five in the hospital are usually when patients get a little stir-crazy. I had to ask if she meant to say "family members" instead of "patients" because I think these beige walls are really starting to get to me. Not to mention the family in the room next door. One guy is laughing uncontrollably and I really can't figure out what on Earth he thinks is so funny. I was walking back from the cafeteria last night, holding two cups of coffee and this was apparently the funniest thing that guy has ever seen. Now he's laughing like a maniac and I'm battling paranoia. Great.

Anyway, grandma is also getting a little stir-crazy as evidenced by this dream. When I showed up yesterday afternoon, she just couldn't wait to tell me all about her evening...no pauses.

"I woke up at around 4 a.m. and I was so tangled in the sheets. I couldn't figure out why I was tangled up in these sheets. And I don't know what we're going to do about the incident in the living room because we can't have that little boy coming in the kitchen to have coffee. He was sitting here in the kitchen, right over there! You know, I need to also talk to you about the checks because I'm sick of donating money to all these firehouses and police officers. So anyway, I woke up again because someone was in the driveway and I just know Maryanne is involved. Megan and Maryanne need to figure out who's fault this is and also I'm sick of the pelicans. They are always bringing all the pelicans and all the animals...but never the pigs! Ha ha ha ha ha."

Ladies and gentlemen, the wonders of dreaming on percocet. Now I need to go figure out where I have been getting all those pelicans...